The Kjaorn Supremacy

Sorry hipsters...

But you've lost your favorite mode of transport/favorite fashion accessory to the masses.

That's right. Your favorite big box stores have started slangin' fixies. And you hoped the bleeding would stop with the hijack of the keffiyeh and Kayne shades. Sorry, kids. And all up in Walmart. Cold. Urban Outfitters is getting into the fixie game too. Haha.

I don't know? Maybe you can bring back the PogoBall or something? That seems pretty alt? Just bounce around bumpin' Animal Collective and ish.

I've never been a fan of fixies. Not only because of their lack of functionality, but because of the assholes who ride them. Don't get me wrong, I have a couple friends who role fixies and those kids are cool, but for the most part when I think fixed gear I in turn think of this guy:

Guaranteed this shit bird rolls a fixie. Guaran-fuckin'-teed. Fuck it, Rob Heppler said it better. Peep the vid:

Dear Zooey Deschanel...

Please stop dancing or I will be forced to fall out of love with you. That's all.

Love always,

Jake

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Zooey. Zooey! Come on? I love you. I fuckin' love you! Let's just run away together? Forget about all this silliness? No? NO? Up yours Zooey Deschanel. Up yours! I'm sorry. Sorry, okay? I love you.

Seahorses 4eva. I'm an idiot. Bye-bye.

What would you do if you had eight days to live?

Dig the tunes. Dig the concept. These bros go pretty effin' big, although I think I could have quite a bit more fun with 30g's. They didn't even make it rain. What? Then again, I'm a fucking party animal. Duh.

MAKE THE GIRL DANCE [KILL ME] (official video)
by placeblancherec

Love you.

Scattered Aesthetics...

I'm feelin' this mission statement:

OUR MOTIVE:

We are not one thing. We are everything. We're the masses and the opened minded. Our bodies in many respects have been despoiled. We're a million little pieces and we're giving ourselves to you. This is all practice for something bigger. We're constantly rollin' with the punches and jivin' at bars and parties. Like most people, we're the seekers, the movers, the malcontent, and at times we're also stupid hell-raisers. We are those you meet that can change you, sometimes so profoundly that we're not the same afterward. We are the Periodical Erotic Frenzy©, The porn hidden under your mattress. We're what your brain lusts for when its not inspired. We're the lounge lizards in the back of the bar or the party crew all up in your face. We are the mad. We are the right words to tickle your fancy. We are the eye fuck and the insightful youth. We are the wolf's teeth, and the sheep's lips. We are dreamers of the day and we aren't afraid to dream with our eyes open. We are the morbid. The crude. The funny. The tomboys. The nerds. The pot heads. The steez hunters. The movie quoters. The music seekers. And everything else in between. We are SCATTERED AESTHETICS© and we’re just warming up.

Peep the site here: Scattered Aesthetics

Silly Hipsters

Peeped this video on Mr. Rob Heppler's blog iLovePrison. Pretty legit--check it out.