The cutest things I have ever seen & My last wishes
I did a little shopping for some travel size toiletries today for my New York trip. These fuckers have to be the most darling little shits I have ever seen. I wish everything was available in a travel size.
Saw my mom today and gave her my last wishes in the case that my plane goes down in a blaze of glory, or I'm slain by a psycho while on my trip. It doesn't sound as though she is going to respect my wishes, so it's up to you friends to make sure that my wishes come to fruition in the event of my demise. I have made a list based on my top choices. I Jacob Gunderson being of sound mind and body (kinda). . .
1. Would like to be stuffed by a top notch taxidermist.
-Where my stuffed body ends up is unimportant. Friends and family can either take turns or arm wrestle for the privilege. If there are no interested parties, throw me on Craigslist or Ebay and donate the scrilla to the United Negro College Fund or Green Peace.
2. Have a barbeque in my honor with my remains. I promise I will taste delicious.
3. Donate my bones to an anatomy program. I'm pretty sure I will make a dope skeleton.
4. Construct a mini Viking ship and float it out to sea with my remains. Set that fucker ablaze. Watch it burn and tip a 40 oz. in my name. If a beach party and orgy ensue, that's hella cool with me.
5. Cremate me and distribute my remains to whoever wants 'em. Sprinkle my ashes somewhere rad.
-Top of a mountain (Bachelor, Willamette, Hood--I've slayed 'em all). Bring my shred stick along as well, set that fucker on fire and give it a push down the hill.
-Your favorite fishin' hole or mine (covered bridge hole on the McKenzie)
-50 yard line at the Oakland Coliseum
-Be creative, I'm goners and don't really give a shit. Pretty much anything that involves fire or an explosion will be appreciated.
I am an organ donor, and I'm fairly certain half of you folks are going to be needing a new liver here in a couple years. Dibs can be had in the comment section.
Peace and Love.
