PUSH PLAY! DO IT! Let's set the mood, friends. Let's make it sexy. Kick off yer shoes. Take off that blouse. Dim the lights if you'd like...
Only moments ago, after lovingingly cleansing my body (with extra special attention paid to my genital region, and more specifically, my penis) I stepped out of the shower, dripping wet and reaching for a towel WHEN in my periphery I caught a glimpse of what many, if not most, would consider to be the best looking man of all-time. OF ALL TIME! I was looking in the mirror, ya'll. It was me.
Anyways, that's ONLY HALF of my revealing revelation of revelous revelry. I have no idea what that means. So, after briefly getting lost in my own eyes, I, as per usual, gave my mustachio a quick part when I realized that it's basically a ribbon, or a bow, a fucking bow, if you will? that you grow on your face. It's gift wrap for your god damned face! What I'm trying to say is, simply, and in essence, that my face is basically like a present to all of mankind. A neatly groomed, drop-dead handsome present for the whole wide fucking world.
Do I consider myself a philanthropist of sorts, well - yes. Absolutely. It's a lot of work, kiddos. But the smiles I put on yer faces time and time again make it all worth the while.
Enjoy it, errybody. Enjoy it hard. And 4eva.
That's all.
I love you.


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