The Kjaorn Supremacy

The McKenzie gets PWNNNED!

I've played sports since I could crawl. All of 'em. These days I lean toward the action or extreme sports variety. Why? Beating, dominating other people, humans, it's too easy. How many times can I take some hooper to the rack and be all like, "I broke ya ankles!"? I mean, it's fun but I feel like a broken record sometimes. These days I need to dominate a landscape--a whole fucking eco-system. Sunday I took on the majestic McKenzie River with a couple of my compadres. I think the pictures tell the story. You be the judge.

Droppin' in. Focused.


Killin' it. The river is at my mercy.


Piece of cake. Didn't even break a sweat.


Nice try McKenzie. Really good effort. Keep your chin up. Maybe next time?

I'm going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali!

I've been distant. I'm sorry. Oh, come on? Don't do that. I'm sorry. Sincerely. What can I do? Please? What can I do? Just tell me. It's not you. It's not. It's me. I'm not just saying that.

For real though, I suck at blogging. Haven't updated in a minute, so here ya go.

I've been a real busy boy. I swear. Working way too much. I've just about had it with the man. Making pretty houses for rich people. Hating every second of it, well not quite, but almost. Being reminded everyday why I went back to school. Wishing that would start paying dividends soon. Real soon. Got student loans to pay. Lots of loans. The dream is still alive, but in the meantime--a brother's gotta eat.

It hasn't been all bad. I have a little fun here and there. Last weekend I took a little trip down to Eureka, Ca. with my favorite girls in the whole world--the Emerald City Roller Girls--who took on the Redwood Rollers. Here's some pics from the trip:

Me being really cool, again. This was a vista point somewhere between Crescent City and Eureka. Beautiful. After leaving this spot I asked my fellow travelers, "What if the Govinator changed all the vista points to hasta la vista points?" Crickets ensued.

Serious Smack aka Your Mom aka Suzy Ninja Pants and most recently Serious Cliffhanger acclimating to Eureka quite nicely. Pretty much a seamless transition.

The Skatesaphrenics huddling up. This is moments before they gave the Redwood Rollers the beating of their lives. With this bout they finished up the season a perfect 5-0. Very proud.

Lamp Lumps pourin' some delicious Ninkasi for the homies @ the pre-after party. Gangster ish.

Trinidad Beach. Prolly the most beautiful beach I have ever seen. The iPhone camera doesn't do this place any justice. Really. Check it out if you're in the neighborhood. Trails, surfing, tidepools, etc... Two thumbs up.

Ma lady and I at the beach. No, you can't have her.

Couple of Ochre Sea Stars making sweet love, or maybe they're just cuddling? A bunch of anenomes, and a lone chiton. Love the tidepool! Nature, buddy!

A cute little Lined Shore Crab.

All in all, it was an amazing trip. Some camping in the Redwoods, a little roller derby, the after-party, the beach, amazing company... Good times. Good times.

I love you.

Be Mine?

Or I'll judo chop you right in the tits. Yep, right in the ol' fun bags. Uh. . . PLEASE! I love you.

Happy Valentine's Day kids.

The majestic McKenzie

Headed over to the McKenzie for a little trout fishin' today. Hooked into a whole bunch of those suckers. A good time was had. Here are some pictures of the adventure for your viewing pleasure.

*Fish were harmed in the making of this blog. Sorry. Mom said they sure tasted good though*

7 in the morning and not too pumped yet.

Okay, now I'm gettin' happy.

This beauty put the ultra-light to the test.

Two Cunts in a Kitchen: I'm just not feelin' very fresh lately?

So I was just stumbling Wikipedia and I got hit with "Two Cunts in a Kitchen." Apparently this is a popular advertising term. Leave it to the ad industry to have a term like this. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't know this already. I drop like $60,000 to get a good education in advertising, and I'm just now learning this. What the fuck? Thank God for StumbleUpon and Wikipedia I guess. Anyways, it refers to a tv spot in which two women are placed in a scene using, discussing, etc. an advertiser's product. Oftentimes a household product or feminine hygiene product.

Here's the link: Two Cunts in a Kitchen.

I think this qualifies:

This actually reminded me of another term that includes female genitalia. I sure do like female genitalia. Sorry. Not surprisingly, it's a roller derby term.

Runaway Pussy (noun):  An attempt by a group of blockers (may also include the pivot) to outpace a jammer to prevent her from scoring.

Vagina, vagina, vagina. That's all. Love you.