The Kjaorn Supremacy

Emerald City's finest back in action...

The skates have been dusted off, the fishnets have come out of the closet and the ladies of the Emerald City are once again ready to put on the sexiest, fastest and most brutal show on 8 wheels.

This bout will put last seasons undefeated league champs The Andromedolls against the young and hungry Church of Sk8in in a match that is sure to please. Also on the docket is the always exciting Flat Track Furies, who after losing last years championship bout in overtime, have something to prove. Look for them to be skating as amazing as ever against the Bad Reputations of the Terminal City.

As usual, the Ninkasi will be on tap and delicious as ever. The tunes will be cranked to fuckin' 10! And the ladies, oh the ladies. That's all I'm gonna say. Be there or be square, and stuff.

Get your tickets here: Brown Paper Tickets.

And if you have yet to join the Sirious Smack Fan Club, what the eff are you waiting for? Check it out: Sirious Smack Fan Club. She's totally effin radical.

Love you.

Top 5: In The Snow

1. It. I've never actually made sweet, sweet love in the snow, but it is typically the funnest thing to do in most situations.

2. Snowboarding. Duh.

3. Getting sideways in the whip. Can't hardly beat doing cookies in a snow covered parking lot.

4. Sledding. Multiply the fun with a sixer of your finest local brews. Ninkasi really needs to get a brewery down here in the SLC. Winter, make it happen!

5. Snow ball fight. I love a good snow ball fight. Watch out for your boy. My cannon is comparable to Raul Mondesi in his prime. Believe it.

Honorable Mention: Build an igloo. Haven't done this yet. Want to fuckin' bad!

So friends, come on over. We can make most of this list happen in a day. If you don't want to do it in my igloo, that's cool I guess, but say you'll consider it? Say it...

Love you.

The McKenzie gets PWNNNED!

I've played sports since I could crawl. All of 'em. These days I lean toward the action or extreme sports variety. Why? Beating, dominating other people, humans, it's too easy. How many times can I take some hooper to the rack and be all like, "I broke ya ankles!"? I mean, it's fun but I feel like a broken record sometimes. These days I need to dominate a landscape--a whole fucking eco-system. Sunday I took on the majestic McKenzie River with a couple of my compadres. I think the pictures tell the story. You be the judge.

Droppin' in. Focused.


Killin' it. The river is at my mercy.


Piece of cake. Didn't even break a sweat.


Nice try McKenzie. Really good effort. Keep your chin up. Maybe next time?

I'm going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali!

I've been distant. I'm sorry. Oh, come on? Don't do that. I'm sorry. Sincerely. What can I do? Please? What can I do? Just tell me. It's not you. It's not. It's me. I'm not just saying that.

For real though, I suck at blogging. Haven't updated in a minute, so here ya go.

I've been a real busy boy. I swear. Working way too much. I've just about had it with the man. Making pretty houses for rich people. Hating every second of it, well not quite, but almost. Being reminded everyday why I went back to school. Wishing that would start paying dividends soon. Real soon. Got student loans to pay. Lots of loans. The dream is still alive, but in the meantime--a brother's gotta eat.

It hasn't been all bad. I have a little fun here and there. Last weekend I took a little trip down to Eureka, Ca. with my favorite girls in the whole world--the Emerald City Roller Girls--who took on the Redwood Rollers. Here's some pics from the trip:

Me being really cool, again. This was a vista point somewhere between Crescent City and Eureka. Beautiful. After leaving this spot I asked my fellow travelers, "What if the Govinator changed all the vista points to hasta la vista points?" Crickets ensued.

Serious Smack aka Your Mom aka Suzy Ninja Pants and most recently Serious Cliffhanger acclimating to Eureka quite nicely. Pretty much a seamless transition.

The Skatesaphrenics huddling up. This is moments before they gave the Redwood Rollers the beating of their lives. With this bout they finished up the season a perfect 5-0. Very proud.

Lamp Lumps pourin' some delicious Ninkasi for the homies @ the pre-after party. Gangster ish.

Trinidad Beach. Prolly the most beautiful beach I have ever seen. The iPhone camera doesn't do this place any justice. Really. Check it out if you're in the neighborhood. Trails, surfing, tidepools, etc... Two thumbs up.

Ma lady and I at the beach. No, you can't have her.

Couple of Ochre Sea Stars making sweet love, or maybe they're just cuddling? A bunch of anenomes, and a lone chiton. Love the tidepool! Nature, buddy!

A cute little Lined Shore Crab.

All in all, it was an amazing trip. Some camping in the Redwoods, a little roller derby, the after-party, the beach, amazing company... Good times. Good times.

I love you.

Raving Rabbids

Played this game last night for the first time. Very crazy. Very fun. Check it out. Good commercials too.

Coudal Partners: Layer Tennis

For all my design aficionados-

If you are not yet familiar with Layer Tennis you need to learn about it! Coudal is a design, advertising, and interactive studio in Chicago that has created this amazing game. Basically they put two bad-ass designers/art directors head-to-head in a design death match. Coudal describes the game in this way:

"Two artists (or two small teams of artists) will swap a file back and forth in real-time, adding to and embellishing the work. Each artist gets fifteen minutes to complete a "volley" and then we post that to the site. A third participant, a writer, provides play-by-play commentary on the action, as it happens. The matches last for ten volleys and when it's complete, everyone with an opinion sounds off in the Forums and we declare a winner."

I LOVE this game. It is absolutely genius. If you are interested in checking it out here is a link: Layer Tennis.

Currently a match is taking place between Aaron Draplin of the DDC, and David Nakamoto of Multifresh. Draplin is pretty much owning him at the moment. Draplin has been a favorite of mine for a while. He resides in Portland and does really clean work. I wish I had half of his skills. Gotta root for the hometown kid. Go DDC!