Dear Groupon,
I caught your Super Bowl ads yesterday, and BOY WERE THEY AWESOME! Your disregard for human rights, freedom and life in general was amazingly refreshing. And the way you were all like, "Fuck whales!" was soo hardcore. Being a bit of an ad guy myself, I was all like, "FUCK! I wish I wrote these ads! They're god damned groundbreaking!"
What I'm trying to say is, simply, I am your fucking SUPER FAN! And being the go-getter that I am, I wanted to write your next ad. Yeah. Truly. Maybe this can be next years Super Bowl commercial? Who knows?
Here goes...
OPEN on wide shot of beautiful African landscape. There's probably lions and some other super rad African stuff.
VO: Beautiful. Majestic. Africa. (Maybe you can have the golden-voiced bum do it? He's so hot right now.)
ZOOM to war torn African village. There's kids. Skinny ones, 'cause they're starving and sick.
CUT to close-up of child attempting to drink from a puddle.
VO: This is Mel Gibson. Pathetic, isn't it? Africa, it's a beautiful place, but let's be honest - it's a fucking shit show.
CUT to close-up of Mel Gibon's face.
MEL: AIDS. Hippopotamuses. Civil Wars galore. And maybe one of the greatest concerns of modern times, the grievous scarcity of clean drinking water.
ZOOM out to shot of Mel Gibson with tittays out and in some boardshorts. He's at a water park and standing above a huge water slide.
MEL: Luckily for us, we don't live on that god forsaken continent, and our waters flow clear, clean and crisp! No Cholera here, kids! And because 200 of us bought at Groupon.com we're getting a 50 dollar water park ticket for only 15 bucks here at Raging Water in Sacramento! 15 BUCKS!
MEL then dives head first onto the slide and screams: FUCK AFRICA!
TITLE: Save the money.
VO: Save the money...
TITLE: Groupon.com
What do you think? Great right? That's for you. Yeah. You're welcome.
Seriously though, I appreciate that you were trying to do something different. I really do. But you missed the mark, and the vast majority of people who saw these commercials didn't get "it." They don't want an explanation of why it was such a brilliant concept, it wasn't by the way, they want an apology. Take your medicine. Tell us you'll do better next time. Man up. Say you're sorry.
such a brilliant concept
Posted by: vibram five fingers | 03 April 2011 at 09:00 PM
our waters flow clear, clean and crisp!
Posted by: vibram five fingers | 28 May 2011 at 12:06 AM