Ad Kid

Nike: The Next Level

72andSunny is blowing my fucking mind right now. Nothing but great work coming out of that place. The Discovery Channel commercial a couple weeks back, and now this. Brilliant.

The cutest things I have ever seen & My last wishes

I did a little shopping for some travel size toiletries today for my New York trip. These fuckers have to be the most darling little shits I have ever seen. I wish everything was available in a travel size.

Saw my mom today and gave her my last wishes in the case that my plane goes down in a blaze of glory, or I'm slain by a psycho while on my trip. It doesn't sound as though she is going to respect my wishes, so it's up to you friends to make sure that my wishes come to fruition in the event of my demise. I have made a list based on my top choices. I Jacob Gunderson being of sound mind and body (kinda). . .

1. Would like to be stuffed by a top notch taxidermist.
-Where my stuffed body ends up is unimportant. Friends and family can either take turns or arm wrestle for the privilege. If there are no interested parties, throw me on Craigslist or Ebay and donate the scrilla to the United Negro College Fund or Green Peace.

2. Have a barbeque in my honor with my remains. I promise I will taste delicious.

3. Donate my bones to an anatomy program. I'm pretty sure I will make a dope skeleton.

4. Construct a mini Viking ship and float it out to sea with my remains. Set that fucker ablaze. Watch it burn and tip a 40 oz. in my name. If a beach party and orgy ensue, that's hella cool with me.

5. Cremate me and distribute my remains to whoever wants 'em. Sprinkle my ashes somewhere rad.
-Top of a mountain (Bachelor, Willamette, Hood--I've slayed 'em all). Bring my shred stick along as well, set that fucker on fire and give it a push down the hill.
-Your favorite fishin' hole or mine (covered bridge hole on the McKenzie)
-50 yard line at the Oakland Coliseum
-Be creative, I'm goners and don't really give a shit. Pretty much anything that involves fire or an explosion will be appreciated.

I am an organ donor, and I'm fairly certain half of you folks are going to be needing a new liver here in a couple years. Dibs can be had in the comment section.

Peace and Love.

Power of the Stripes

Again folks, if you didn't make it to the bout, you really missed out. Once again the lovely and talented Emerald City Roller Girls sold out the joint. Yep, packed the fair grounds full. 3,000 plus roller derby faithful screaming and cheering for our awesome ladies, and filling the air with an electricity that cannot be described. Very Phil Collinsesque.

The bout was great. Coos County got worked over by our Andromedolls, but played their hearts out nonetheless. I really admire those chicks determination and love for the game. The Andromedolls really played great. Very impressed with those chicks as well. Very impressed.

The Church of Sk8in' and Flat Track Furies bout was an epic battle, and even included a real deal brawl, which I didn't get to see unfortunately. That's right, fervorous fists rained down from the skies like hate filled stones. Not to say that I encourage this kind of behavior in roller derby, I don't. The sport has been trying to recover from that image and establish themselves as a legit sport, which it absolutely is, but on the other hand, I'm a sports fan and a good bench clearing brawl is something that I have always enjoyed as a fan. My fellow refs did a fantastic job restoring the order. Good job zebras.

Both of these teams came into the bout undefeated, and both played like champions, but in the end the Church prevailed narrowly. I was impressed with the efforts of both teams. Great, great bout it was. I wise man once said, "After a bout, half of the people are happy and half the people are sad. Then we drink beer." Or something along those lines. Soooo true. I got nothin' but love for the entire ECRG organization. Pretty much the coolest kids I know. A great time was had by all.

Rocking the stripes finally paid off. Not to say that all the love and appreciation I receive from the ladies isn't enough, because it is, and I do love the free post bout beers. Really--but anything beyond that is extra sweet. While cleaning up after the bout I was approached by a wicked hot derby fan who hooked up the digits. Oh yeah, the ladies love the stripes.

la comunidad for Buenos Aires Independent Film Festival: "Tom Sellecks"

Good. Very good.

Killin'em on the links

Played 18 today over at River Ridge and shot my best score on a championship course to date. I shot a 15 over par for a total score of 86. If you have played R.R. you know that this is a pretty respectable score for a dirt bag like myself. A lot of people are pleased to break 100 on this course. Pretty pumped, and I'm continuing to get better. I think I might be able to shot in the high 70's if I keep it up.

While approaching the par three 12th tee I thought that I spotted a bobcat. Here is a picture:

I wasn't able to get very close because the little sucker took off. Upon closer inspection of the picture I'm fairly certain that it was just a BIG feral cat, or possibly a bobcat-domestic cat hybrid, but I don't think so. Okay, okay. It's a fucking house cat. Dammit all. Oh well. I guess I'm not the National Geographic photographer that I thought I was.

72andSunny: Discovery Channel "I Love the World"

I love the 72andSunny.

Emerald City Roller Girls: Concrete Jungle

Saturday, saturday, saturday at the Lane County Fair Grounds. Hot roller derby action. Your Emerald City Roller Girls will be in action along with the Coos County Roller Girls. BE THERE!

For real though, all I ever here after a bout is, "Jake, why didn't you tell me there was a bout? I really need to check one of these things out! What the fuck man?"

Well, here it is. You have been informed, so don't come at me with that ish next week unless you want to be slapped in the tits. Go get your tickets pronto because these things are selling like hot cakes. Tickets can be had on their website, at Fastlane Coffee, or through me possibly, so holler at'cha boy. Get 'em well the gettin' is good folks. These suckers won't last.

A good time will be had by all. That is a guarantee! Dope tunes. PBR tall cans. Scantily clad ladies beating the shit out of each other, and hopefully not me. What more can you ask for?

Unsatisfied customers will be allowed to kick me square in the baby maker.

I love you.

Top 5 Moustaches of All-Time

Fuck, shit, cock, ass, bitch, piss, tits, Bob Saget. . . God dammit I wish I could grow a sweet stache. These are my top 5 staches of all-time. I know some of these are rather obvious, but the beauty of these moustaches cannot be denied.

5. Steve Prefontaine
4. Burt Reynolds
3. Rollie Fingers
2. Tom Selek
1. Jason Schwartzman (The Darjeeling Limited)

Yes Mr. Selek, you have been dethroned. You had a good run. A solid 20 years of stache dominance. Mad props sir. Sorry.

Just watched The Darjeeling Limited and it was pretty good. Most definitely required viewing. Jason Schwartzman's moustache was gorgeous. Words cannot describe how beautiful his stache was in this flick. Fucking epic stache. If I could grow a stache half as good, I would rule the world. Say what you will about moustaches, but the fact of the matter is they make panties drop like two beers and a vicodin.

This is what I would look like if I was capable of producing a significant amount of testosterone:

Compliments of Pet Moustache.

I grew up a fuckin' screw-up. . .

There are not many aromas that I appreciate more than the one you are hit with as you approach an urban convenience store. You know what I'm talking about. It's like the perfect mixture of spilt malt liquor, bum piss, and broken dreams. It gets me every time, and I'm prompted to reminisce of simpler times when slipping a 40 oz. down your pant leg was an everyday thing, and passing around a can of Glade Air Freshener to huff through a rag was a party. The good old days boy. To be a 14 year-old dropout again. Those were the times.

Best line in a film ever!

And the award goes to. . . Drum role please. . . "Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!" David Lynch's Blue Velvet. Epic flick.

All up in the paper son!

Hole-in-one Club

Just got my first hole-in-one, and boy am I pumped. Today after class I decided to go tough out a round in the rain. Things were going okay considering the conditions, and I chalked up a couple of pars and a several stroke lead over my buddy Brad going into the par 3, 205 yard eighth hole. I asked Brad if I could use his new 3 hybrid. I put a good swing on it, and the ball flight looked good, but I lost it in the sky. As we approached the green, my ball was no where in sight. I decided that I must have muscled it over the green. As I walked up to the green I noticed a ball mark about a foot in front of the cup. Someone hit a nice shot, I thought. I wondered if it was me that hit that dandy. I glanced down into the hole, and there was my ball buried in the bottom of the cup. I then let out a holler that must have been heard miles away. WooooooooooooHooooooooooooo!

I can now die a happy man.

Mark Khaisman: Emily, Arielle and Helen

This image was created by layering packaging tape on plexiglass. Packaging tape on plexiglass. Yeah. Tape. It was then illuminated from behind. Amazing stuff. I don't even know what else to say really except for those beezies are fly. Nice work Mr. Khaisman. I dig it.

Grocery Store Realizations

I'm a child in a man's body, a man-child if you will, and I'm okay with that. I've accepted it. It's fun, mostly. It's definitely not something I would recommend if you can help it. It has been my experience that not too many adults (especially females) find it very charming if someone constantly acts like a 12 year-old.

I often wonder if I will ever grow up. Sometimes people look at me (mom, dad, etc.) and I can tell that they are wondering the same. It's not a look of disappointment. It's weird, and I don't think I could do the look justice with a verbal description, so I won't bother. I'm often scared that I will wake up some morning and be mature. I think I can now say with a fair amount of confidence that I can stop wondering.

Today while leaving the grocery store I made an interesting discovery. As I pushed my full cart out the door, I was overcome with glee. This is pretty common when I exit the grocery store actually. It's not brought on by the sense of pride I gain from my bargain shopping abilities ($37 today in bonus buy savings), but rather by the joy I am about to experience as I push my cart as fast as I can and jump on the back for a little ride out to the rig. As I speed through the parking lot with a big shit-eating grin on my face, people give me the same look I previously mentioned. I could care less. I would give them the bird if I didn't have a death grip on the cart handle. As I reached my car I thought, "Who the fuck does that? Nobody over the age of 12 does that." Then I start trying to remember when the last time I witnessed someone else doing this. I couldn't recall, and at that moment it dawned on me--I am Josh Baskin.

Charles Bukowski

"Most poets can’t even write a simple line like, "the dog walked down the street." Nothing should ever be done that should be done; it has to come out like a good hot beer shit. A good hot beer shit is glorious, you get up, you turn around; you look at it and you’re proud, the fumes, the stink of the turd. You say, "god I did it, I’m good," and you flush it away with almost the sense of sadness, and just the water’s there. It’s like writing a good poem, you just do it, it’s a beer shit. Nothing to analyze and nothing to say, it’s just done. Got it?"

Fucking brilliant.

Nike SB P. Rod

Just peeped these beautiful kicks down at Tactics, and it took every ounce of will power I could conjure to leave them on the shelf. I'm not really a "sneaker head" but I can definitely appreciate some dope kicks. I can't stop thinking about 'em. FUCK. If I didn't have two pairs so similar to these suckers already, they would be on my feet right now. I wear a size 11 by the way, if you were wondering.

Raving Rabbids

Played this game last night for the first time. Very crazy. Very fun. Check it out. Good commercials too.

Emerald City Roller Girls: Concrete Jungle

Another bout coming up quick folks. Clear the calendar for April 26th, and get your tickets ASAP because they won't last. The ladies are packing houses wherever they go. Going to be a great time as usual. If you make it to the bout and mention that you saw this poster on my blog, I will loan you my pet squirrel Alowishus for a week. Chicks dig squirrels. TRUST. Hope to see you there. I like your butt. Call me.

David Lynch on product placement

No Country for Old Men

Finally viewed No Country for Old Men and boy am I glad I did. Can't remember enjoying a film so much in recent memory. Fucking brilliant flick.

I've noticed that this film got a lot of bad reviews online, which surprised me a great deal. A lot of people were left wanting more due to the somewhat abrupt ending. I actually liked the ending. The film was very cerebral, and a lot is left for viewer interpretation, which I like. Very David Lynchesque. Still trying to work out a couple of his films actually.

If you are not the type of person who needs to be spoon fed all of the details and plot points, check this movie out. Otherwise go rent a Michael Bay movie.

True Romance. . .

is by far my favorite movie ever. If you haven't seen it, you should. It was written by Quentin Tarantino, and directed by Tony Scott. I wish Mr. Tarantino would have directed it, but I guess he had to sell the script in order to do "Reservoir Dogs" which worked out pretty well. Here is one of my favorite scenes from the film. Enjoy. Oh, and that is Gary Oldman by the way. Epic performance, even if it didn't last too long.

God bless your brand

Peeped this on adfreak this morning and I nearly peed in my pants. Please check out the website. Your clicks will be rewarded with a free ticket to heaven, probably.

Never lay up

Just peeped this Top Flight commercial on YouTube. Pretty, pretty, pretty good. This dudes dance moves are off da hinges! I'm not kidding. I will perfect those steps and be takin'em to the club fa sho! Reminded me a bit of the Tea Partay video, but I enjoyed it anyways. I really hope you like it as well. I love you.

Brain freeze! Dude!

Quote of the day:

Stoned hippie guy sitting on the floor inside Albertson's drinking a slurpee: Dude, my head hurts. Ha, ha, ha. . .

Random guy: Uh, I'm sorry.

Hippie: Thanks. Ha, ha, ha. . .

Breakthrough

I think I had an epiphany or something. I'm not completely sure because I was sleeping, but I'm pretty sure something amazing happened. No, it wasn't a wet dream. I don't know, but it feels good.

Threw together a couple of comic strips last night. I found a couple of them to be mildly entertaining. Going to keep banging these suckers out. Here is one of them: